How the Bud Blooms (Trying vs. Achieving)

In response to a recent Teal post, I decided to challenge her idea of 'trying' versus 'doing'.

Trying is the response to our doing our best. I would go so far to say that we are always doing our best relative to where we are vibrationally. So, perhaps, use of the word "try" is an indication that we will do our best.

Simultaneously, is it possible that evoking the word 'try' indicates a feeling of powerlessness to circumstances... reinforcing that we are not in control of our reality. 'Try' for some is a half-willing vibration where one is hesitant to take every step forward possible to achieving. This is why 'do' empowers some into a type of determination for success and achievement of one's goals--but cannot this also bring forth shame if it is not met?

The reason 'do' gives some power, and others shame, is that 'do' can (and I don't mean always) be likened to a vibration of all-or-nothing thinking, whereby if the goal is not accomplished the person feels like a failure and that even their best is not enough. This is when we make 'do' a standard, rather than a drive or mentality. From this standpoint, if accomplishing a goal were as easy as deciding we will do it, everyone would be there already.

To give a personal story, I can show why the vibration of the word 'try' resonates more with me than the 'do, or don't'.

In fact, when I was younger I heard the phrase, "Do or don't do, there is no try" repeatedly. It came from my stepfather, who was emotionally distancing which made his presence feel harsh and stoic to me (there's a long story there). This was usually relative to school. As a person, I have a fierce determination that--even when it ceases--always turns to hope. I would not be alive still without this characteristic. I may feel like giving up sometimes, but I am not a quitter. So, when I would commit to doing, and fail, I met myself with harsh punishment. I felt like I had let myself down, and all I could do was do harder and harder to get it right. Rather than do what felt right, or like progression, it felt like I was struggling to reach a receding finish line.

I have a similar situation that touched upon this recently. In fact, I was thinking about this very topic when Teal posted on her blog (sync!).

I'm currently working an incredibly busy schedule (somehow I always do this to myself, but I'm learning) that has me working 9am-9pm Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. And on Wednesday 9am-12pm then 6pm-9pm. And on Friday 8am-4pm.

A housemate I'm living with told me that I was not cleaning the dishes as well or often as I should. In a higher vibration, it would not be a problem, but with the current shadows I'm facing and stresses, doing the dishes day to day is hardly a priority. I always attempt to be sensitive to other's needs, but I have my own needs that are deeper. My dishes are done about every 3-4 days, which, considering how I grew up is not at all a gross amount of time (since dishes could sit in my parent's house for up to a month--maybe longer at times--until they were done).

Let me be clear: I know this doesn't make my dishes any less my responsibility. However, it just simply isn't among my highest priorities. This made me think about the idea of 'try' versus 'do'. I could commit to doing the dishes... but there was no guarantee that I wouldn't have an anxiety attack that needed my attention and presence. There was no guarantee that I wouldn't need to sit with my feeling of grief or insecurity. This is a situation where I have to resolve to 'try' in order to do my best, rather than constantly stressing myself over the obligation of 'do'. 'Try' set me free. 'Try' gave me the freedom to know that I'd do my best but the world wasn't over if I didn't succeed perfectly. And it's working! Upon release, I was able to open with my housemate and really go toward what felt good without the pressure of meeting up to an obligation or not.

Perhaps, the vibration of 'try' makes us capable of acceptance. There is no, "I said I would no matter what and failed." Instead, there is "I tried" or "I did my best" which makes us capable of stepping back to accept what happened and find what works better. To see how our attraction can be improved. For those of us who are perfectionists (myself) that beat ourselves up when things don't go well, this is a crucial step.

What this really comes down to is semantics... we can "try" whilst giving our effort to something completely. We can also commit to "doing" whilst giving our effort to something completely. Maybe, like finding the right word to describe our emotions, the 'trying' versus 'doing' is not a battle of the words, but the vibration we are emanating. 'Try' and 'do' can both likewise give a person power relative to where they are.

Sometimes, we cannot make definite decisions about the future. Sometimes, we have to let what happens happen, especially when something is not our priority and we are trying our best. Sometimes, 'trying' allows us accept that the future may not always go as planned and that there may be road blocks and gives us the courage to know that we will always do our best (i.e. keep trying) no matter what obstacles may come. I find this, too, a form of empowerment.

The Rain Doesn't Punish, But Brings Seeds to Grow (Positive Intentions)

If humans are always seeking pleasure, and avoiding pain... then anything we do that is not of benefit to us, is because our mind is finding something within it benefiting us. Sometimes it's so that we can "keep" one thing (like safety), others to "gain" something (like approval). In truth, in our negative behaviors and mindsets, no one actually wants to carry them out. It is what they think they are getting from it.

No one wants to feel depressed or doubt their worth. No one wants to feel powerless, no one wants to hurt others in anger and hate. We are not born this way, it is learned behavior based on our fear. Fear that we cannot avoid pain, and cannot gain pleasure. Fears that accumulate from our human experiences and relationships.

Nothing would occur in our mind if it did not think it was somehow benefiting us. This is why it's important to ask what is benefiting us within what we would not like to be experiencing.

If I'm serving as an example, my mind is skeptical and doubtful despite what I've experienced and the evidence for what I want to believe (the universe, unconditional love, we are all one). I realized recently that what prevents me from embracing a sense of faith in my experiences derive from invalidation of such experiences. This kept me from trusting my feelings and experiences and to undermine them. Although I believe in the law of attraction, that aside we still know that what we put out into the world is what we receive (from others and our own mind i.e. neuroplasticity), we will only experience what we put out or practice. Doubt will only yield to doubt.

However, my mind has it twisted. I found that what was benefiting me within my doubtful behavior, is that I get a sense of "true" evidence when proven wrong, rather than seeking for evidence toward what I'd like to prove "right". This is because my mind equates the latter with a construction of the mind, rather than actual evidence since it's not in the face of doubt. See, now, what roots me to doubt!

It is very much the mentality of "wrong" until proven "right". My mind attempts to ask the universe to give me evidence in the face of doubt. And you know what's funny? It has! I've been given personal evidence, and come upon cases of evidence of what I would like to believe with others. I will elaborate on these cases later. And even then, the doubt continues. What does this tell us about true skepticism?

Someone will continue to doubt if that is the vibration they are in. Nothing outside us can change our emotions (influence maybe), except for ourselves. We doubt, in essence, ourselves.

Doubt comes from a place of fear, faith from love. However, we cannot mistake this faith with blind ignorance. Strangely, blind faith and doubt feel the exact same. They are both a state of closedness, in an effort to draw rules and endedness to a reality that is constantly changing. To gain closure, because we think we will have safety in our closure.

What we find after a while, is that regardless of the evidence we find for anything we want to believe better (that will reinforce a feeling of love and acceptance--not to be confused with ignorant positive escapism), the shift must ultimately happen on the emotional level. External comforts are tools, your mind is a tool. It's all about how you use it, but in any case, you are the driving force behind change. We may repeat to ourselves affirmations, "I am worthy" or "I am talented." We may find evidence. But in the end... it is not the affirmations, the evidence, or any other tool that truly shifts us. Our emotions are what cause us to truly understand--emotional comprehension is full and complete comprehension from a place of love and insight. This is why empathy is such a great skill!

Obviously there are many things that cultivate doubt. But my personal doubt is such a wound. One that, even by the very nature of doubt, I must again learn to emotionally comprehend and trust in my comprehension. Similar to performing well on a math test... comprehension, and then may I perform well.

 Safety is exactly the positive intention behind the doubt I face personally. Safety to not feel invalidated again, and so my mind wants to stay in a state of closure. Safety is me trying to protect myself from something, which means there is something I fear. It can also mean there is great hurt. I have not yet found this wound.

Why do I fear faith?

If I was full of faith, what bad thing would happen?

So, using this modality, question your own positive intention behind what you are feeling:

If I feel ____, what keeps me in this state?

What am I afraid of?

If I feel ____, what am I actually gaining by this experience?

If I had ______, what bad thing would happen?

This is a great way to find the underlying emotions behind why we continue to feel the way we do.

It doesn't rain to punish the soil, but to nourish the earth so that seeds may grow. What seeds have you planted?