It Was The Water, Not The Soil: The Benevolence of Receptivity

Thinking on my last blog, and how it touched on the topic of loving people the way they need it in order to build connection, understanding, and intimacy... in this blog I want to touch on the opposite side of the issue: receiving. And this is for you and all people in your life who are struggling to have their needs for love, care, and connection met at this point in time even when it seems we are all trying our hardest.

Even when people give us love in forms we are not most apt to receive them, there is a love inherent in knowing that they are trying to love us the way they best know how. Knowing that they are doing their best in this way leads to instant reception of love in the form of forgiveness, appreciation, and humble acceptance. 

This doesn't dismiss your deeper needs in how you best receive love, and this isn't a critical voice saying, "You're just not receptive enough to other's love, so be grateful." It's simply acknowledging the benevolence and understanding that others mean well, even if they cannot deliver perfectly. It is forgiveness in the form of understanding that they are doing their best to accommodate you when you have walked into the "store of their heart" for something they either don't carry yet, or are still waiting to stock. Perhaps the manager is just tending to other things momentarily.

When expect people to be anywhere other than where they are, and other people expect you to be somewhere you're not, each of us walks away from the "stores" of each others hearts disappointed. But, if we can build the understanding that the attempt to supply and help with what is available in that "store" is in fact an effort of love, we can accept their generosity even if it is not what we technically need.

So many people end up disappointed that others cannot provide what they need either because of where they are in their life, or who they inherently are as a person. They walk away from the store disappointed that it does not carry what they want, when they either need to make do with what that person's heart store supplies, learn how to order something for their own supply, or visit another's "heart store". (I know it's a little strange to refer to hearts as stores since it involves "money" and "transaction"... but instead, think of it as a kind of store where love is the currency, and needs are the items, and everything is given and accepted freely.)

There is a patient acceptance, and reception of the love that is available to you, when you accept people for where they are and what their "heart store" carries. It's ok to feel upset or angry that they don't carry that thing, or don't carry it yet... especially if these are people you are close to, love, and care about! It's natural, especially if you feel that you carry that item in your own "heart store". Don't suppress your emotions, and instead seek to understand them as signals to understand yourself more deeply. But if you can embrace emotional patience through the recognition of love, care, and support in the ways their heart store can provide it, you will sense the emotion behind the action. And that alone leads to a deep receptivity and appreciation of their love and care in ways that were previously inaccessible to you. There is also always the patience that they may grow to carry that item within their "heart store" as well.

This reception becomes like the moistness of the soil that allows nutrients to come up through our roots. It is not the nutrition itself, but awakens the ability for absorption. And so, it was the water, not the soil.