The Rainfall's Misty Ponds (Suffering, Acceptance, and The Role Compassion)

For a long time, self-love and positive focus have been the hallmarks of a spiritual, awakened, and happy life. And for good reason. There are amazing stories of people getting back on their feet after periods of depression and bouts of anxiety. It is influential, powerful, and transforming to realize that Love is the Truth of the universe.

Ironically, it is in the wake of these realizations, we understand the role that suffering plays. When we can see clearly enough through the eyes of love, suffering is a beautiful gift. It is suffering that gives such deep understanding of love. It might be confusing, and ironic, to look at suffering as beautiful... After all, when we are in our suffering, the last thing we want to hear is it's benefits. In the same way, when we have experienced devastation or loss, we do not want to hear of it's potential benefits. This feels like abuse, and unloving. We look at the universe as if it's punishing us out of "goodness" which makes us feel like we can't trust it and it's not on our side. It's similar to when someone does something that hurts us only to say, "It's for your own good." This kind of abuse from others or self-abuse can be confusing especially when we start to confuse love with things that punish and hurt us.

Simultaneously, we do not want to hear from other's to "pull ourselves together" or that we "just need to love ourselves" or that we "just need to empower ourselves". In our lowest of low, these just deepen the chasm within us. If we hate ourselves, we hate ourselves more for feeling powerless and incapable to complete these tasks. Our self-hate makes us see ourselves as less because we're not feeling that self-love.

It's time for us to understand that universal understanding and Truth can be used in different ways. When we are in our pain, we are stunted. It makes us emotionally, and often mentally, blind to the highest and loving perspectives. So maybe, the question is not about how we can get ourselves to the highest of perspectives. It's not a "race" or "more spiritual" to be or feel a certain way. Maybe the question is, what is loving from where I am right now? What is the next loving step? Or, if pertaining to a fellow human being, what is most loving to this person's current reality?

An answer to these grueling times might be... Love is gentle. Love is soft, and love really cares for you, always and forever. Love doesn't want you to suffer.

Love can think that suffering is beautiful, and love can also not want you to suffer! This is love because love... takes many forms. We might call the first acceptance love, and the second compassion love.

If you continue to develop oneness you experience only light and love, this much is true. That is the whole of all things. Darkness is only the lack of light, not a real and separate thing. It is a perspective, and just as valid, just not the ultimate truth of our being. I've been recently reading A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, and there's a part of it I love:

"'The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.' When we think with love, we are literally co-creating with God. And when we're not thinking with love, since only love is real, then we're actually not thinking at all. We're hallucinating. And that's what this world is: a mass hallucination, where fear seems more real that love. Fear is an illusion. Our craziness, paranoia, anxiety and trauma are literally all imagined. That is not to say they don't exist for us as human beings. They do. But our fear is not our ultimate reality and it does not replace the truth of who we really are. Our love, which is our real self, doesn't die, but simply goes underground."

However, while in the 3rd dimension often we have little or no access to that which is beyond the veil. When we integrate into Source perspective, we integrate our 3rd dimensional perspective with other universal truths that we cannot see from that level of reality. And thus, we realize and feel deep unconditional love, which relieves our human perspectives of pain and suffering. Accepting this higher reality helps us accept our suffering--acceptance love.

Simultaneously, when we come into Source perspective, we become inclusive to the whole through love as well... which is exhibited by our capacity for deep compassion for the suffering of others. Compassion is a form of love, and perhaps the one most needed in our or other's darkest times. Compassion love, like acceptance love, still sees beyond the painful 3D realities. But compassion love recognizes the need to comfort the disturbed from the wildest and most heartbreaking illusions developed in this world. Compassion love knows the steps to take, if you let it. In this form, it is known what is needed by Source (be it within you, the person next to you, or non-tangible energy) because the love of the universe within them speaks out for their own understanding and desires. This form of love, compassion, is not a teacher telling you to be grateful for your suffering. It understands that they are in no position for this truth, but not because they feel the person's suffering. Love cannot suffer, because it's love! We feel compassion because we know how real our or their pain must feel, even if it is not. Compassion is to understand the heaviness of our or another's experience, and a desire to relieve it. But this is not through the eyes of suffering. This is not through the eyes of sadness, or fear, or an anxiety to change it. Thus, it is often that compassion precedes acceptance love.

All love is beyond positive and negative realities. Suffering and pain, and feeling suffering and pain is not love. Nor is resistance to feeling pain or suffering, because love does not run. It is everywhere in every moment.

As self-love deepens, you cannot love yourself deeply without also deeply loving the world around you. People who are self-loving who appear to isolate any form of negativity in their reality aren't loving either. It's not that we have to suffer with people. Instead, true and profound love is exhibited through compassion. Compassion is a hand to hold, a loving touch or embrace. Compassion also shows us the better paths, and paths to change.

Some nights, I feel grateful. Because I know that no matter what befalls me, the world, or others, everything will always be ok. Or even if I don't, I have my own words to help me remember. Because through the eyes of love, suffering is no longer suffering. Because just as the sun evaporates the rainfall's misty ponds, love evaporates suffering as it transforms into love. It transforms it into its highest form--the teacher.

On Distant Clouds (The Ultimate Disconnect)

It creeps up in me like the drawing of a shield and sword. Like protection from an attempt to blanket my reality with another's. It's a silence that says so much and so little. A silence that knows how much needs to be said... but a silence that is scared to do so. Instead, the words come out blockish and mechanical. Like the doors are closed, and the walls are up, and only the security system's automated voice can speak.

I recently found myself reading something written by Teal Swan I could relate to immensely... "What scares me most about life on Earth is how two people can occupy the same space or experience the exact same thing and yet not occupy the same reality or experience." Everyone's mind and psychology are different according to their personal triggers and experiences. This would be fine if we all had the capacity to really understand each other's perspectives. If everyone could feel empathy and experience different perceptions, we could step into each other's shoes. Some people are good at this to varying extents. It reminds me a little of another quote I heard somewhere, "There's not a single soul who wouldn't love you if they really understood you."

But what about when what you experience feels so different from the rest? When there's nothing to bounce it off of?

I realized recently something I had been hiding from myself. Which is that I've always felt a profound feeling of isolation and loneliness in my life. I felt so different from everyone. From going vegetarian at 7, meditating in the forest when I was 11, resolving fights with friends at 12, experiencing deep and unearthly love and connection with everything, talking about a mysterious "they" who watch over me with my grandmother at 13, describing the way certain things felt in strange ways, and so on until my age now... I felt nothing other than different. Not because of the things I experienced... I loved them. I felt connected to the universe and everything around me. I had amazing feelings.

No, it wasn't the experiences... it was because of how others reacted when I would experience these things. I've gotten so many mixed reactions... And I feel it's either because people couldn't relate, or couldn't understand me. People could only understand to the extent they could perceive, and emotional walls are a major obstacle to even mental understanding. When you don't have anyone to mirror your experiences, you feel alone in your reality. Others are there, but they can't see in. When someone shows up who's conscious, and other's response ranges from amaze to rage to trepidation, reality becomes unpredictable. You don't know if you can or should share anymore. You come to the assumption that you don't know what's safe. And while some responded well... I shared music I found heart-warming and I would hear, "You listen to old-people music." I would tell people that love was stronger than anything, and they'd say "What a load of bullshit." I wouldn't go to parties, and people thought that was weird. Constant and circumstantial moving between schools and states, and parental habits only furthered my feelings of isolation. There's a myriad of experiences I feel echoing in me so deeply on replay.

Sometimes... I felt like a treasure chest never opened. For this reason, others could only dream of my internal reality. And sometimes... I wondered if the gold in that treasure chest turned to coal since that's what it seemed other's thought was there. And at some point, I just decided to remain invisible, placing a lock over my own mouth.

I've often thought... there's nothing in this universe but love. Everything else is a lack in loving perspective. But of course, from the human standpoint (individual ego), these things are very real. And of course... exhibiting true empathy means that you realize you and everyone has a reason to feel the way they do given their experiences and triggers too. That is unconditional love. But when our own individual trauma deals with isolation, seeing loveless perception in others is especially disheartening and isolating.

This is how I found myself today... isolated, and downright frustrated. I see the doctors walk in and out of offices. Women sitting at desks browsing computers. All is good and well for me when I go to the doctor and it stays on the physical level, but of course it didn't. You may know (or may not know or believe) that all physical things originally have an emotional cause (with the exception of soul contracts). The energy in the emotional body builds and affects areas where there has been a lack of "love" or "life-force" which is Source or anything else you want to call it. These often manifest as negative feelings, but even subconscious feelings (and those we deny) that are left un-resolved can manifest lack of health. Lack of love = lack of health. We live in a universe where everything affects everything else. We have yet to realize this as a species, and because of that, it feels like things can happen to us "out of the blue" with no cause whatsoever. This is the belief that has tortured humanity, and so they come up with reasons like "karma" or "God's punishment". It drives the very powerlessness we feel in our lives. That belief, and the belief whatever does create our reality (be that reality itself as an unpredictable random series of events) wants us to suffer, hurt us very much.

So why did I bring this up? Because no matter what it is I'm experiencing, the emotional cause must be dealt with. In my case, isolation. And isolation in feeling overlooked, unheard, and not taken seriously. What happened is I go to the doctor with symptoms, I get some small tests by the first doctor to check my health, then I'm sent to the gynecologist within the next hour. All was well and good until, of course, she says "It's probably just anxiety" without having done any exam. That alone sends up my wall. I'm well acquainted with the physical affects of anxiety. We're in the same space, but occupy two different realities. I'm living in the reality "I'm in serious pain and I know it's more than just anxiety" and she's living in the reality "Oh, I don't need to examine this healthy 20 year-old girl, she probably just doesn't know how to manage her stress." Even if it just anxiety... the problem here is the distance.

She says instantly, "We can assign you anti-depressants here." I explain that I'm aware of the affects of anxiety and my (physical) symptoms began with a particular traumatic experience, but I felt very strongly there was more to it than just anxiety. She asks me what kind of experience. I freeze. I almost completely forget what I'm saying because there's no explaining the kind of experience I had, especially to a doctor, without sounding like a complete loon. As amazing all the things I've experienced are... the intuition, unconditional love, and incredible universal knowledge, involving yourself in the spirit realm is not without risk. And it is with this risk, that when I slipped into my human darkness so deeply, I became a vibrational match to a negative thought form which merge it's energy into my body's sacral center. So... I guess it's out of the closet. Without saying any of this to her (psychological death sentence in the mainstream medical system), I wince and reluctantly ask her whether she knows the term extrasensory perception, and she asks "Is that the same as synesthesia?" There's no further discussion of the word, and she finishes again telling me about anxiety.

When the emotional cause is something that our current society cannot address, something so outside the realm of normality, you feel like there's nowhere to turn. Not to mention the fact that conventional psychology still doesn't have a complete grip on finding the root cause of anxiety, depression, etc. and are so quick to prescribe symptom-suppressing medication. There's a huge lack of mirroring in our world. I often feel I cannot talk seriously about certain spiritual experiences, traumatic or enlightening, because people seem to have little knowledge or understanding of it. When I feel the love of the universe pour into me, and talk about the miracles of love, or talk about my experiences with spirit guides, I'm "pollyanna" or "manic." When I feel the heaviness of my triggers or experiences, I'm "psychotic." When will the labeling stop? When will the world really try to understand people who are extrasensory?

So yeah, I'm frustrated. Frustrated at the lack of integration of important knowledge like this into the medical field. Frustrated that because of the lack of knowledge, people are labeled instead. Frustrated that people aren't attuned to one another. Frustrated that the mental health and food and medicine and pharmaceutical systems are all split up. Frustrated that people's intuition is taken for granted and overlooked. Frustrated that people are paid to keep people out of sickness, rather than maintain health. Frustrated at the lack of understanding cause and effect. Frustrated that we loose our intuition underneath the words of others. Frustrated that we're trained out of who we are. Frustrated that we are trained to be only what's "acceptable". Frustrated that when you struggle with anxiety or depression, it's seen as though there's something "wrong" with your nervous system when in fact there's everything right with it. Frustrated that there's a whole field of work dedicated to helping people "cope" in a world that we should really be changing. Frustrated that because of all these things... no one understands each other and it create's the ultimate disconnect.

That's right... if you're anxious or depressed, there's everything right with you, because we break the mold of the mind-numbing societal systems. There's everything right with you, because your nervous system is a finely tuned instrument sensitive to the most subtle changes. I'm not saying that anxiety or depression is good... I'm saying we live in a world where the conditions are right to cause anxiety and depression!

When who you are is unconventional, and your experiences out of the ordinary, you feel the weight of your own being sink into you. Those of us who came here to help the world with these problems... simultaneously feel like we came before our time. Sometimes... we just feel like we're on distant clouds, or invisible. "Sensitive people are the sensors, the alarms, the sirens of the world" and right now, we are telling them that change is necessary in this over-stimulating, fast-paced, mechanical world (Yvonne Whitelaw). Today, I speak up for other extrasensory people, sensitives, to say that I'm with you. You are not alone, and this is a tough world for people like you and me... but don't sacrifice your inner knowing, truth, or experiences because of the way you are perceived by others. Even if it feels like you've been lost from that part of yourself, you're not. You may feel powerless to change things in the world right now, and you may feel the heaviness of that for a good reason... but when we stand together, we realize that we really can do it. The right people are there, if we put ourselves in the right places and if we can learn to trust again. May the strength of our hearts grow, grow and learn from the depths of our despair and loneliness in our camaraderie. Together, may we open the heart of the world that couldn't understand us. And more important than anything...

"Leave safety behind. Put your body on the line. Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind--even if your voice shakes. When you least expect it, someone may actually listen to what you have to say. Well-aimed slingshots can topple giants." -Maggie Kuhn

So, let me share with you today, something that warms my heart... and may the light within us both nurture and bring compassion. We need both darkness and light to propel us forward through this journey called life. May both of these... give you the strength shared by having hope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ywLuLn56bQ&index=21&list=PLH7NDzTTIhpyloaIMMf1l6_YylnJ9RhQd

Every Flower Grows Differently (11 Reasons to Make Decisions Right for You Regardless of Other's Opinions)

Recently I wondered, what do people do when there are hard decisions to make and how does it pertain to making loving decisions? For a long time, the most loving decision has been taught as the one where no one gets hurt, and where there is compromise. But, how can you know what is loving if it seems inevitable that another will get hurt? What do you do when it seems like you have to choose between your emotions and another's?

After contemplating these questions, I found several reasons that choosing to do what is right for you regardless of other's think or feel is ultimately the most loving decision. Compromise and care to each person are great options, but can only go so far if it is causing one or each person to emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually sacrifice their own needs and desires.

A lot of us find it hard to make choices for ourselves if we think someone will be hurt, offended, disagree, or even hate us for it. On top of this social pressure, we also live in societies (which will differ based on where you grew up) that promote the idea that loving yourself is in fact selfish, wrong, or narcissistic, and that those who give or sacrifice are angels. We often shame selfishness, but glorify martyrdom. These kind of beliefs keep us in relationships and situations that we feel like we have to give up needs or desires to make the other person happy or the situation favorable. We begin people pleasing or "keeping the peace" at the cost of taking a step that might hurt but advance our lives immensely.

But what if the expansion of our consciousness as a human being is meant to make other's uncomfortable? Sometimes expansion for both people in a relationship means there will be an initial breakdown, or hard times, before change comes. 

What do we find when someone tries to change their life for the better, via the means of "breaking up with someone" or making a choice that may hurt another? They are confronted with guilt, shame, or even fear that they are being selfish/stubborn/stupid. They are having to choose better for themselves despite the others person's thoughts or feelings because the relationship is not benefiting themselves or anyone else.

Here are some reasons why you need to let go of the other person's perspective in order to make the decision that will not only benefit you, but quite contrarily, the other as well! Even if it hurts, sometimes the pathway to change is shaking everything up so that not changing is no longer an option.

1.  Your intentions for basing your decisions on other people's emotions or opinions may not be as pure as you think.

Our definition of love becomes distorted and misunderstood as it bends to what each society believes in this world. We often forget what ultimate, unconditional love really feels like (some sooner than others) and create our own version of what feels like love based on how we grew up and what we were taught. These versions of love are by no means worthless, but they are often conditional. Because of this forgetting, many things we call love are not. Conditional love says "I love you" meaning "I will continue to give love regardless of circumstances." For example, if a child breaks a vase that is a memento from your grandmother, it's natural that you will feel sad, angry, disappointed, etc. You may say to the child, "It's ok, I love you no matter what." But in that moment, it is not love that you are feeling. It is still conditional, because if it were unconditional you would be feeling love no matter what happened. But unconditional love does not just mean you will take loving action regardless of the circumstances, but within those circumstances. What we really mean is, "I want to love you unconditionally." This isn't to poke and prod you for not being unconditionally loving, as humans no one is in this state 100% of the time, and it's something we are all learning. I simply wanted to make the distinction.

Do you see how easy it is to take "I will continue to give love regardless of circumstances." can be taken to the level of self-sacrifice and the giving up of your own needs and desires? This isn't love because love doesn't require sacrifice. It is true that when you love enough, it is not a sacrifice. However, too often we use this truth to abuse ourselves and hide our true intentions, thoughts, and feelings...

If you are strong enough to admit that you suffer from a feeling of the lack of love in your life, continually giving or even self-sacrifice may simply a mechanism you may be using to be perceived as good, worthy, or useful. You may feel like you're doing the "right" thing, but love is not about right and wrong. If you realize you are one of these people, and this is your reason for continually making decisions based on other's perspectives, you may resort to shame or self-hating as your actions were from a self-motivated reason. At this point, friend, you need to take a good long look at your self-worth and use this as a lesson for offering yourself compassion and understanding so you can move forward into what your heart is telling you. In the end, you truly cannot give what you don't have.

2. You aren't making another truly happy, if it is causing you pain.

You are perhaps giving in outward action, but imagine that other people knew your other intentions for giving than to "just see them happy"... Do you think that it would make them feel good to know that what you're doing to make them happy is causing you pain? No one feels good knowing that their pleasure/happiness caused another pain. And if they do feel this way, they are being selfish because they've learned this world is about every person for themself. They don't understand the emotional or mental consequences it has on another.

3. You can't please everyone.

No matter what you say or do, there will always be someone that doesn't like what you say, do, or believe. If you are trying to be that fair-weather friend, realize that you are simply switching your actions to be liked. You are a little like someone who's trying to adopt two different personalities to fit into two entirely different groups of people. Just being yourself and doing what's right for you will in the long run make you feel happier, and you might as well because it is quite literally impossible to make everyone happy.

3. And... No matter how much you give/do for another person, you cannot truly change another person's perspective, life, or actions.

Change of mind has to be open and welcomed by the person that needs it. No matter what you give up for them, no matter what you do for them, no matter what you change in your own life for them, their perspective will never change because of you. You cannot control what other people do or don't think of you, because you cannot think for them. Sometimes we like to use our needs and desires like bargaining chips for the hope that someone will be able to make a change in their life. It makes you hope that the two of you can live happily ever after, but this does not work.

4. Your fear of judgment (as selfish, stubborn, etc.) is just as abstract as the mentality of those who judge.

That probably sounds confusing, so let me explain. You can control your actions, but everyone has different opinions on what is right action or wrong action. This is a collaboration of beliefs they are taught in the community/society they were raised and their own personal relationship with their triggers, sorrows, fears, and disappointments. These are abstract and vary greatly from person to person, family to family, and so on. Keep in mind that you are only dealing with different perspectives, and the one you fear is no more valid or real than one that will benefit you. If you've had enough experiences in life that support that particular fearful or detrimental perspective, it only feels more real or valid. Instead of basing what you do on other's abstract concepts of right and wrong, come from your heart. What does your own heart tell you about the beneficial or loving decision?

Coming from your heart also helps you realize that how they treat you emotionally is also how they treat a part of themselves emotionally. We cannot treat someone a certain way unless there are parts of ourselves we have treated that way. We only reject in others what we cannot love and accept within ourselves. The resulting compassion from this understanding dissolves our fears, sadness, and anger, and love can triumph over our personal reactions.

Not everyone in the world is going to like you and that's ok, which brings me to the fourth reason...

5. Discomfort is the catalyst for expansion into awareness.

When you come to a crossroads where you are having to decide between you and another person, sometimes the decisions we make are meant to contain discomfort. To illustrate this concept, I want to share a speech with you from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski:

"There's something I want to tell you about stress, and how we have to look at stress. Ok? And I think it's an important thing because many people have told me from my lectures that it's the one thing they remember. Ok? I was sitting in a dentist office, and looked at an article that said, How do lobsters grow? I thought, 'Well, I don't care how lobsters grow.' But, I was interested in it, and it points out that the lobster is a soft, mushy animal that lives inside of a rigid shell. That rigid shell does not expand. Well, how can the lobster grow? Well, as the lobster grows, that shell becomes very confining, and the lobster feels itself under pressure, and finds itself uncomfortable. It goes under a rock formation to protect itself from predatory fish, casts off the shell, and produces a new one. Well eventually, that shell becomes very uncomfortable as it grows right? Back under the rocks... And the lobster repeats this numerous times. The stimulus for the lobster to be able to grow, is that it feels uncomfortable. Now, if lobsters had doctors, they would never grow. Because as soon as the lobster feels uncomfortable, it goes to the doctor, gets a valium, gets a percocet, and it feels fine so it never casts off it's shell. So the thing that we have to realize is that times of stress are also times that are signals for growth and if we use adversity properly, we can grow through adversity."

It is discomfort and negativity from which we are pressured to grow. On one hand, doing what feels better is absolutely self-loving and this will in turn help the world. On the other, sometimes an action under which we feel pressure is absolutely our gateway to make changes for the better, because where we are currently is no longer serving us or others. Sometimes, the forward-thinking choice is the most difficult one.

If you're having a hard time making a decision that may cause momentary hurt to yourself or another person, but it is the only way to change your life and how it's making you feel, consider for a moment that the upset, discomfort, or pain of the situation will ultimately call all involved to expand their self-awareness and learn. This isn't the free ticket to do or say whatever you want without caring about other people's feelings, or to be a total jerk. It's best to reduce suffering whenever possible, but also important to have the wisdom that you cannot walk this planet without causing some amount of suffering. If you make decisions that constantly undermine your own well-being, you rob others of the opportunity to grow. This brings me to...

6. You cannot promote peace and love in the world, whilst keeping yourself in pain.

Buddha once said, "Your compassion is incomplete if it does not include yourself." Michael Jackson reminded us of his Man in The Mirror Philosophy, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." Or you may've heard, "You can't give what you don't have." You are literally acting against your own values if you want a world filled with peace and loving kindness, but exclude yourself from it. For those of us with self-worth issues, it's easy for us to see ourselves as less than human. But in the end, when we come back down to Earth we are all human. You cannot be truly a part of your own movement for love if you cannot or do not give it to yourself. You will certainly continue to cause suffering if you cannot walk away from it for your own sake. Sometimes we cannot give ourselves love because we have not yet faced our own self-pity.

7. Remaining in self-pity will inhibit change where it's due, and you will only continue to make decisions on the account of another.

After realizing that our misery doesn't help anyone, another guise or mechanism our ego likes to use is self-pity. Before you get angry, I'm not here to tell you that you don't have a right to feel the way you feel. People who look down on self-pity with despise and hatred will never help those who are experiencing it, and moreover they probably look down on it because there is an aspect of them that also need validation and understanding. They were never able to get it and so they tell others to "suck it up" like they had to. Self-pity is all about validation and understanding. Self-pity is an emotion just like anger, sadness, or fear and it deserves to have it's own place for safe expression to be worked with and moved through.

However, we don't often get the validation we need because of self-pity's bad rap. This perspective arises from circumstances that involve self-pity. For instance, some of us are addicted to other's validation to the extent that we are powerless to other's opinions, and cannot think for ourselves. Others may offer us validation because we are seen as the "victim" and therefore the good guy. Thus, we hand over our power for self-validation completely and let others determine whether it's "valid" to feel the way we do. However, we find that people get tired of constantly validating and they may leave us, at which point we feel abandoned. Then we may self-pity over the abandonment and the cycle starts over and over again. 

If we can recognize self-pity as such, we can learn to offer it our understanding and compassion, whilst taking back control of our life and making decisions for ourself. We can simply own our emotions in response to something, rather than having to play the "good guy". When we are able to be in complete understanding of ourselves and validate ourselves as we move through our experiences, we are able to be more confident in our decisions rather than resorting to another's validation to take an action that will feel better.

8. Only you have lived your life, and of all people, you know yourself best.

Some people seem to have the idea that they know what is best for you. They should come and live your life, right? No. You have to remember that you have lived with yourself from the second you were born, and continue to 24 hours, 7 days a week. You know better than anyone else what will make you happy, and what truly speaks to your soul. In your life you will be surrounded by people who may not understand you, think your weird, or dislike you for what seems like no reason. These people are coming from the projection of their own beliefs about the world. The problem is not you, the problem is how they are choosing to perceive you. When you stop worrying about what other people think, you are free to reap the benefits from actions that feel good directly rather than stressing other's opinions over it. For this reason...

9. When you make decisions right for you, your personal judgments toward others will lessen.

We have to admit it, we have judgments. Every person alive has judgments. When we experience happiness as a direct result of a decision we have made, we realize the importance of each person paying attention to their internal guidance. Having this realization brings new perspective on other's and what they do to bring themselves happiness, thus lifting some previous judgments on their own actions toward happiness.

10. You can't escape yourself. Only YOU can change YOU.

If you are living a less-than-satisfactory life and if you feel like you could be happier, you need to remember you can't escape yourself. Remember all the decisions you've made based on other people's opinions, emotions, or perspective, and suffered? If you continue to make the same decisions, because you can't escape yourself, you will have to continue to endure that pain and suffering. Ask yourself, am I going to willingly choose to live with this pain? Or, will I make a change?

11. You can be the proof that loving yourself was the best decision you ever made. 

As you make the decisions that feel right for you and come from your heart, you can be the living proof that the heart is stronger than anything else. You can be the living proof that love is stronger than fear. You can show the world that not only loving others, but especially yourself, can change the way we interact with the world and create greater peace and kindness. It is natural that what what we change within ourselves will mirror onto those around us.

The deeper part of us is compassion, acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness. So when we find these for ourself, we are also teaching ourselves how to give it to others.

The Village Where Mists Meet The River

In a place like this long ago,

Or perhaps a place just born…

Where the mist meets the river,

There is a tiny village

Surrounded in the tranquility of a sacred cloud

On an island of quietude

Minds rest in the kiss of her rain

As the essence of her veil

Huddles over the people

The leaves weaving themselves with the fog,

Twinkle in the dawn

Plucking the heartstrings of the soul

And settling it in the safety of her silver threads

A foot that treads lightly on the earth,

Feels it's moist and papery debris

A stray soul from time to time finds them self

Only for a moment, before the sun is to rise

At the entrance to it’s pass

The distant call of its inhabitants

Beckoning the most placid of minds

And the strongest of will

Shall they walk the pass

With strong heart,

They too can feel the kiss of her rain

Walk in the soil of life

And hear the sweet strum of dew in the forest

However, be weary the soul

That cannot walk without fear

Finding themselves entranced

By the mirror of their wildest delusions

And murkiest dread

They awaken with the moon,

Pass and mist afar off the shore

Unharmed, however…

Forever greatly changed.

Three Musketeers and One Pregnant Mother

I make my way through the humid heat to the train, clothes and backpack stuck to me with sweat. Passengers herd into the car like water being pumped into a tank. I can feel the anxious and confined energy leak from the people pressured against one another around me. I notice three young girls sitting with their mother, dressed in lavender, turquoise, and hot pink skirts and t-shirts. They sit with each other, quietly looking around with wide eyes and blank faces. I see their young faces empty, yet observant. As if a curiosity wells from their being as to what might come next. I see their tiny limbs poking out from the oversized seats--two share one. The mother is in the seat closest to me, scrolling through her Instagram feed. I look into the eyes of these young souls, and a warm smile escapes my heart. It was as if I could cradle the tiniest one in my arms, and carry her in my arms for miles with ease. It is her that looks up at me, and smiles, her face dropping soon afterward as if she made a mistake, and receded to mistrust. 

The train continues it's rumble on the tracks, and before too long, the girls legs are bowed up against the all-too-large seat, and her mother looks over, smacking her across the legs. The young girl, without crying or whining, without looking her mother in the eye, pulls her legs up more to pull them to her chest, and when her mother continues to smack her legs harder and she flattens them. It was so fast... Confusion as the girl tried to do what her mother wanted but didn’t know what it was. She kept her blank expression. When she straightened them and was unharmed, was when she understood. I see many things. A dollars roll out of a hand, heads bob as they grow weary in slumber. A leaning into the mother’s lap, and the furthest one's head falling silently to the stranger's arm. The phone is now held to the mother's ear in a tight indignant grasp. A harsh and vengeful tone radiates from her corner of anger. The conversation was about custody, and about the receiver's wrongs, likely to a friend to which she rants. She hangs up abruptly, to continue scrolling through her feed. She notices the furthest child leaning on a stranger, and grabs her arm, pulling her over to her sister's head for readjustment. I see her then lay her arm across the back of the seats, as if to say, "No touching." The trains stops and I must leave, but I am saddened. Sometimes just being on the train, doesn't exactly mean we are going anywhere.

In Those Lonesome Depths

Within the skeleton of an un-awakened child, a chill seeps deeper

Like the wind that drifts aimlessly through a violet night

Subtly, as intangible as ether itself

It sinks into abysmal seas

Invisible to passerby, submerged in the oceanic reality

Watching ripples left atop the surface of expansive water

By those who cannot penetrate the depths of their heart

Too fearful,

Others dare not send down their hand of understanding

Lest they sink themselves

And fade into its labyrinth

More accessible to them

Is a belief in horrific isolation

Where the sunken are ill

And the floating are sane

Although under the skins of textured seas

Lays the darkest and coldest crevices,

There are also the most beautiful shadows of light

That trickle in slivers that move through your soul

Like an aurora, the flow of luminescent color

Makes elegance of the murk

In the emotional echo of push and pull

We desire deeply for amiable companionship

Swimming with comradery on a never-ending search

To understanding the mysterious deluge

And to meet of that which hides in the shadows

With love

But some will never tumble into the flow of this magical world

And continue their search from the comfort of the surface

Unable to satiate the thirst of their spirit,

For the dread that

In those lonesome depths

They may actually quench it

Where Clouds Travel To (A Call to Action)

I recently watched a movie called, "The Little Prince" (originally a book written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry). As someone who loves animation for it's imaginative and story-telling qualities, this was one of the most mind-opening ones I've seen in a while. Why? It put the emotional reality of our lives right in front of our face. It showed us what is happening on an emotional level within the world, be that consciously or subconsciously. We have denied the value of love, beauty, and "seeing with the heart" for so-called "more essential" things within the world like money, productivity, and being a part of the system. In all it's story, perhaps the most pervasive theme was awakening. It made me think a lot about what spiritual awakening really is, and why it is called so. It's not as if our essence is truly gone. Our innate understanding of the beauty and love within the world never leaves us... we forget! It's not that we find the truth, we "awaken" to it having been there. "The problem is not getting older, it is forgetting."

By now a lot of us have seen what we do not want in our external world. We have seen damage of current societal practices that are ruled by a production line for top corporations. We have seen the damage that pollution, mass production, and consumerism have had on our society. We have seen pollution, poverty, the survival mindset of the every day. And yet, so many of us feel powerless to it, from our own singular lives. We cannot control what the person next to us does or doesn't do... we cannot alone stop the car manufacturers, or alone stop the "mandatory" school curriculum in our education systems. Simultaneously, we also have to get by for ourselves within this system. Life for many has become about getting by because there are so many things that our external world reinforce or mandate that we must do if we are to survive within the system. We want to progress, but we are afraid. I mean, the world is so much larger. Right? How will we get by without a solid job that pays so that we can even live?

There are so many questions raised that we almost feel overwhelmed by any possibility for change that we just kind of fall face flat on the floor. That is why I think it's time to give up on reform. Before you get angry, just listen. It's time to surrender the fight of working from within a system that we already know makes us miserable. There are definitely decisions with positive intent that are making their way into the world. Eco-friendly technology, charities and organizations working to end poverty, and most importantly, people who are making the world better for themselves and others by feel inspired to be doing what they are doing. However, with so many afraid to take the next step, it's hard to push for reform from within the system at the same time. When do we just say, "Enough!?" Instead, this is a call to action.

As an artist, you can make edits and changes when things aren't going the way you would like. However, there are some times that you need to paint the canvas white and start completely from scratch. The good news is, if you are as fed up with the current system as I am, you're ready to make this change. I won't lie. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of it not working out, hitting rock bottom, feeling so powerless to the largeness of the world and the system that hurts so many. But no person with a heroic heart (and I absolutely propose you have one if you are reading this), ever went into battle without fear. A person is not brave because they don't have fear, they are brave because they can continue forward with it. It's time to stop feeding our belief that the current system for obtaining abundance in our lives is only through the current established methods. If we as human made the current societal rules we live by, we can re-make them! There are those who will tell you to end your march forward. There are those that have strayed so far from love that they feel they cannot even touch it anymore. During these times, remember that if your intent is loving and pure, other's hate and anger toward our mission for a better world is a manifestation of their own powerlessness and insecurity.

When we walk forward into the daybreak of a better system, and a better planet, our fear will dissolve and we will feel the immense freedom and inspiration we have longed for. But no one will take that first step for us. We cannot wait to see it happening around us. We must be those strong leaders that walk forward with love into the world, regardless of what it thrown. And most importantly, we must stand together for positive change on the dramatic and minute levels. So many paths have called out to me, and one is ringing strong and clear... International connection and community. Looking through history, the largest changes have occurred in large numbers.

This won't be a lone pursuit. We will need connection between all people at this time to remember the nature of love within the world. Nothing is too lofty so long as you believe it's possible. No one achieved anything through doubt. This is why I propose that we not only create more intentional communities for people to help each other and lovingly interact, but it's time to unite these intentional communities under a common improved system. Creating schools that facilitate a child's natural curiosity and growth, without judging them based on what grades they receive but the quality of their time and attention. Facilitating the use of technology that helps the earth and ourselves to live well. Creating a new system of justice where loving understanding change is key. Creating a system where abundance is open to all, and no one has to struggle to fulfill their basic needs and suffer if they can't.

We need people who do every kind of job there is, and enjoy doing it. We need people who enjoy building things, cooking, gardening, planning, designing. We need doctors, healers, motivators, and most especially, creators. Creative thought is at the heart of this pursuit. We need creative thought in our world, not just efficiency. We don't want bandaids and cover-ups. We want long, lasting change. We want the bigger picture. We want a world community.

Moreover, stop doing things in your life that are making you miserable! Make plans, make change. Make love and happiness the most important thing in your life, and reinforce it with the changes you make! This is your life. In the face of death, what do you have to loose? Life is too short to justify things that are holding you back from enjoying it.

Make your communities, and let's reunite them under a common connection. Let this be a Project for World Unity!