I tried automatic writing last night, or rather... it came upon me as I had been writing a lot that day. I figured I would share what has come to me. I was thinking myself about what it means to be observational vs. judgmental. I find we hold too much judgment in our lives, but it is not as if we can squander this judgment. Instead we must learn from it about ourselves. Here is something I wrote:
Observation is about the action. Judgment is about the self in relation to that action. Perception is our own personal association with the action.
The difference between observation, judgment, and perception in my eyes is similar to the difference between guilt, shame, and self-awareness.
Guilt is about an action which occurred that was unfavorable--a mistake.
Shame becomes when we make this action about ourselves. Shame is when we define ourselves by what we have done, and not who we are. Shame is not about "I made a mistake" and is instead about "I am a mistake." Self-awareness is the byproduct.
We come to understand our actions through admitting to what has happened, owning our part/emotions and nothing more.
I was also thinking about understanding the difference between an action taken from an authentic space, versus one that is taken to avoid something else. It has been a struggle for me to tell the difference, because us humans are so inept at self-awareness that I often find myself questioning/second guessing myself and my motives for any action. Question everything, yes, this is good. However, it can also inhibit your ability to embrace those things which are taken from an authentic space. Here is a conclusion I came to:
Authenticity is love then the reward of action. Inauthenticity is action then the award of love.
We can see how each affects us differently, are we doing something out of love for our being and the action, or to acquire that love we want. At the most basic level, we feel the difference. Sometimes I feel it can be a combination of the two. In which case, we must address what part of ourselves is holding us back from loving that action/part of ourselves fully and completely.
This led me to thinking that some of us develop habits to get love, one being a search for pity. But what then, is the difference between Pity and Compassion. Here again is what I have discovered:
Pity is felt for what we do not have, have not experienced, cannot lend our understanding. Compassion exceeds pity. Compassion is a form of love that lifts up without hold or limitation. Compassion is given to others once we have given it to ourselves. Compassion sets us free from our past, and liberates others from a place of forgiveness.
I thought about the various tools we use to try and organize ourselves and our lives: meditation, self-help books and teachers, therapy, and realized this is a means to an end. However, here is where more automatic writing came over me, explaining the nature of progression in the realm we live:
We begin on the most basic levels in our spiritual journey--the ability to manipulate our reality by giving it tools to help us. But this is only the first step of the journey. In what is to come, we will see not only spiritual comprehension, but the evolution of thought. The tools we now use and possess are the byproducts of our current manifested capabilities, but will be rendered obsolete as humans realize their innate connection to the abundance of information which is available to them at any moment.
Not sure who this being was, or if it was a byproduct of my subconscious, or what exactly. I did have a vision of a scene with a figure in sandy gold room with sunset lighting and brown shadows. However, this is all I have to share on this for now.
Peace!
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